


“Sometimes I wonder if you missed me”

by Gemini_Baby



Series: Bruce & Jason Week 2021 [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: (sort of), Epistolary, Forehead Kisses, Gen, Hurt Jason Todd, Injury, They both need a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:48:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29639751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemini_Baby/pseuds/Gemini_Baby
Summary: A part of Bruce is convinced if he makes sure that Jason is here, right before his eyes, he won’t disappear but if he even thinks to blink, he would lose him forever. Bruce knows this is irrational. Of course, he knows. But a lot of fears are irrational. That doesn’t make any of them less scary.OR: Jason got hurt and it shook Bruce
Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne
Series: Bruce & Jason Week 2021 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2177907
Comments: 8
Kudos: 126
Collections: BruJay Week 2021





	“Sometimes I wonder if you missed me”

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Bruce Jason Week Day 1 prompt, “Sometimes I wonder if you missed me”
> 
> Thank you Silver (SuperSilverSpy) for taking a look over this <3
> 
> CW: There is mention of an accident (nothing graphic) and also a character reads someone's journal   
> (don't read if either of these makes you uncomfortable)

The lights have been dimmed in this area of the med bay down here in the cave. The harsh lights are not glaring at his eyes. That doesn’t make this any more soothing for him. In front of Bruce, Jason lies on the bed; unconscious and injured. Broken and bandaged. Leslie had told Bruce earlier that they could have lost Jason. Again.

Hence, here Bruce is. Sitting vigilant at Jason’s side. Not ready to even blink lest Jason disappears. A part of Bruce is convinced if he makes sure that Jason is here, right before his eyes, he won’t disappear but if he even thinks to blink, he would lose him forever. Bruce knows this is irrational. Of course, he knows. But a lot of fears are irrational. That doesn’t make any of them less scary.

There’s no rogue whom Bruce could blame for the current situation. Jason had not been fighting anyone tonight. He wasn’t even out as the Red Hood.

He was out as himself, going somewhere. Maybe leaving his safe house for something. Or maybe returning to it. They don’t know.

All they know is Jason and his bike had met with an accident. 

And now here Jason is. Looking so young and hurt. 

Bruce’s eyelids start drooping and he jerks awake. Trying to distract himself, he tries to find something that would keep his attention while also not distracting him from Jason. His eyes narrow on the side table, finally.

There are some items placed on it. Jason’s possessions. Things he was carrying when he got hurt.

A wallet. A set of keys. A handkerchief. A leather bag. A...journal?

Before he knows, he is reaching towards the table and picking the journal up.

There are a lot of papers folded and tucked in it and Bruce has to be careful in handling it and turning the pages of the journal or seeing the separate pages which have been folded and tucked.

A paper falls to the ground as Bruce is turning the pages. He picks it up and tucks it again. But his curiosity wins. He takes the paper from between the pages and unfolds it.

Whatever he had expected to find in the paper, this was not it.

_ “Sometimes I wonder if you missed me.” _

“Jaylad”

_ “Then I look around and everyone screams the answer plain and clear. Yet, I find myself yelling the question again and again. Who am I asking...I don’t know. The only thing I know is: there is only one person I want the answers from, even when every other person is just willing to jump any moment to answer even when my questions don’t concern them, in the first place.” _

The ink is smudged in the lower part of the paper. Bruce tucks the paper back into the journal. The immediate page next to it has text on it, in Jason’s writing. And Bruce can’t help himself from reading this, even if he knows this isn’t right. Nor is this his right to do so. Yet, he continues.

_ “Even when my wounds don’t kill me...or make me bleed. But they make you bleed though, don’t they? Every scream of mine elicits a gasp of pain from you. I am the one battling nightmares some nights but you are the one who can’t sleep those nights.” _

Reading it, Bruce is not sure if he should stop it or continue. Face his failures head-on and try to be better, learning from them. Or close this journal.

This journal whose pages have the remains of the tears of his son spilled on them and poured his heart into. Jason has used  _ ‘you’  _ several times in his journal and there is no question or confusion about who that  _ ‘you’  _ is. He has used  _ ‘you’  _ when he tried to address Bruce in the journal and every time Bruce comes across this pronoun here, he feels like a net cloth being dragged harshly across a bed of thorns.

Since Jason returned, they have not spent much time together, have not seen eye to eye, have not communicated properly and yet in these pages, Jason has described, mentioned and addressed Bruce as if he has been able to read all of Bruce’s being like an open book. And here Bruce is; clinging to his son’s journal to get to know the person he is the father of. 

_ “Sometimes I jolt awake and want nothing other than to run into your arms. Then a part of me questions if you would even want that.” _

Bruce’s heart speeds up and he reads the next words.

_ “The answer hasn’t been a ‘yes’ yet. And I stop following through with what I want and need, then. Someday that answer won’t be a ‘no’ and I would run to you and have you hug me. Even if you untangle yourself from my monster-like limbs,” _

Bruce would really like it if Jason runs up to him, especially right now, and hugs him with his...monster-like limbs.

Bruce blinks. Jason is still there, in the bed. Not in his arms. But still...he hasn’t disappeared from Bruce’s line of sight. Bruce is pretty sure he is not hallucinating anymore.

But then again, he couldn’t tell if he was hallucinating or not when he lost him the first time.

_ “Sometimes I wonder if you missed me”  _ in Jason’s handwriting keeps flashing before his eyes. Bruce wants to scream. He  _ tried _ . He tried so much to join Jason when he had lost him the first time. To reunite with his boy again. He didn’t succeed.

Sitting here, right now, Bruce realizes he didn’t try to reunite with Jason when he was not lost anymore, when he was returned to him. Alive. No longer dead.

He shakes his head. He has Jason here now. 

  
  


He drags his chair closer to the bed. He knows Jason won’t be waking up at least until tomorrow. Still, he wishes to see those blue-green eyes to open and look at him.

Jason looks so young. His eyebrows are not etched into a frown because Bruce was being too much, There is no scowl on his face, right now, either. He looks like how he was. Young. Innocent.  _ Traumatized. Hurt. _

He couldn’t stop himself from leaning closer and brushing the curls away from Jason’s forehead. Leaning down, he kisses Jay’s forehead. He leans back. But leans down again, dropping another kiss on Jason’s forehead.

He is halfway into pulling his son into a hug before he remembers that Jason is currently severely injured and it can hurt him more if Bruce gave in to the urge to squeeze and hug him right now. He settles on wrapping an arm lightly around him instead and brushing the curls back with the other.

Bruce closes his eyes. Jason  _ would be  _ here tomorrow. And Bruce can take small steps to make things better between them.

**Author's Note:**

> What are your thoughts?


End file.
